photo credit: TRENDscout_
We all have fears that hold us back. Sometimes fear isn’t the obvious emotion but it is the core form of resistance. For instance, some people might simply label themselves “risk averse” rather than fearful. Others might say they just aren’t sure yet and want to wait until they have that “gut feeling”.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t evaluate risk or trust our instincts. However, we need to be honest if we are withholding from an experience that we truly desire but are afraid to pursue. So how do we defeat our fears? Sometimes it’s as simple as reframing our view of a situation but it might take a different approach if reframing isn’t working.
There is no guaranteed formula that works for everyone and the time table can vary depending on the extent of your fear and what you attach to the outcome. But what if it was easier to push past fear than we think? What if it were simple? Here are 3 Simple Steps for Crushing Fear:
1. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
It is not possible to conquer a fear as long as you think it is dependent on someone or something else. If you are afraid to speak in public because of an experience in high school speech class, you can’t expect to hold the inconsiderate members of your class responsible forever. Instead, you can take responsibility for your role in the outcome and focus on the future. Your other option is to let one past incident define your future.
2. FOCUS ON THE “DOING”, NOT THE OUTCOME.
For me, focusing on the outcome is one common way to freeze me in my tracks. I know there is a lot of evidence that supports visualizing the exact outcome you desire. However, I can often build an amazing house in my head before I have laid one brick. The thought of what it will take to reach my destination and all of the potential pitfalls along the way can shift my focus to the fear rather than the appealing final outcome.
Instead, I find that I benefit from just “doing”. I am an active thinker and visualization is not a problem. For me to build momentum, I need to take the first step. Each step then provides the energy I need to carry a task to completion. The small victories come unexpectedly and encourage me to enjoy the process, the learning and the growth. Many “successful” endeavors have grown out of a “failed” attempt. The willingness to explore can conquer the fear of imperfection.
3. TAKE IT LIGHT
Another step for crushing your fear is to not take yourself so seriously. Often the outcomes we build up in our head are far more exaggerated than reality. We often feel that people are watching us so closely that the humiliation of our feared outcome will be overwhelming. In reality, people are more forgiving of our process than we are and sometimes (and this should be comforting and humbling) they don’t even notice our perceived failures because they are more focused on their own lives.
You are only going to move past fear by taking it head-on. Relax, understand that you can move forward and take the first step. In the face of your fear, you can discover your power. Now go believe in yourself!
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